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Healing From the Inside Out

Mother and young teen daughter sitting together looking at mobile phone and smiling

Has trauma left your child feeling helpless, angry, lost or depressed? You can help your child cope with trauma by making them feel safe and loved.

Experiences such as bullying, abuse, neglect, natural disasters and the loss of a loved one can leave deep emotional marks on children. Every child reacts to trauma differently. Knowing how to spot the signs is the first step toward helping.

The big thing to look for is changes in your child's normal responses, behaviors or habits. Common symptoms of childhood trauma include difficulty sleeping or eating, trouble focusing, unexplained grumpiness and anxiety when having to leave a caregiver. Children may also lose interest in activities they usually enjoy and avoid other people.

How to be there for them

To help a child come to terms with trauma, create a safe, stable and loving environment. Steps you can take include:

  • Allowing your child to express their feelings and let them know they're important.
  • Creating and sticking to routines, such as a regular bedtime.
  • Promoting good health by serving nutritious foods and encouraging regular exercise.
  • Spending more screen-free time together as a family.

One of the best ways to start spending more time together is by having a weekly family meal or activity of your child's choosing. It doesn't need to be fancy. You just need to spend consistent, quality time together doing something that brings your child joy. That will reassure them that there are people who love them and who they can talk to.

See your child's medical provider if you notice concerning changes, such as your child experiencing flashbacks to the traumatic event. Get medical help for your child right away if they talk about self-harm or hurting others.

Coping do's and don'ts

  • Do focus on understanding your child's trauma instead of making their experience about you.
  • Don't minimize your child's feelings.
  • Do let your child discuss the traumatic experience at their own pace.
  • Don't push your child to repeatedly discuss the traumatic event. This could interrupt healing by causing them to relive the experience.

More on behavior and emotions