Preparing children for a new sibling

For an older sibling, having a new baby in the home can feel overwhelming. Toddlers may have a particularly hard time because they are still learning to process and express their emotions in a healthy way.

Many children struggle with a new sibling because it feels like their world, and especially their relationship with their parents, has suddenly changed in ways they can't control. According to the Direct Family Services team at Cook Children';s Center for Community Health, they may feel jealous over the attention the new baby is getting, fear they're losing their parents’ love or be confused about expectations around being 'the big kid.'

Adjustment advice

To prepare your older child for their new role, you can:

• Help your child practice holding the baby using a doll.
• Let your child help get ready for the baby by choosing toys or decorations for the nursery.
• Set aside special one-on-one time each day for you and your child.
• Use storybooks and age-appropriate language to talk with your child about what will occur and what having a new baby will be like.
• Work with your child to practice big-kid skills, like playing independently.

Once the baby arrives, maintain the daily one-on-one time with your older child. Praise them for helpful behaviors and tell them how much their new sibling loves them.

2 steps forward, 1 step back?

You have a new baby in the house, and your older child is acting oddly. They talk like a baby and wet the bed. What's going on?

Your older child may be regressing, meaning they're returning to earlier behaviors to cope with their new sibling's arrival. Many kids regress after a baby is born. They may also throw tantrums or act clingy. Fortunately, these behaviors usually go away over time.

Cook Children's licensed psychologists recommend the following:

Respond with patience, consistent routines and emotional support, acknowledging your older child's feelings and reinforcing positive behaviors.

Speak with your child's pediatrician if the problematic behaviors continue for weeks, worsen over time or significantly interfere with daily life.

More helpful tips

Preparing your older child for a new baby | American Academy of Pediatrics